


nobody stands in between me and my man

by stefonzolesky



Category: The Hangover (Movies)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, alliterations, meet the parents, other stuff, proposal fic, takes place about two years after part 3, they're in love, title from me & mr jones by amy winehouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 00:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: “They wish I had married Lauren. They liked Lauren because she was pretty and smart,” He says. “But, for the record, I think you’re way prettier and smarter than her.”





	nobody stands in between me and my man

Phil admires the aesthetic attached to alliterations. Something about the satisfying way the sounds slide off his tongue. 

“Phil Price,” is as good a short alliteration as any. Phil will never disclose that on his own. Maybe, one day, if Stu asks -- that’s when he’ll bring it up. Otherwise, his appreciation of the alliteration that combines their two names will stay safe and secure inside Phil’s head.

Besides, it’s not like they’re getting married. They haven’t even been dating for very long, so Phil thinks that talking about marriage might be inopportune, impulsive, impetuous.

 

“Honey, where's my Xanax?”

Stu scratches at his cheek awkwardly. Phil watches him swing the mirror back in place.

“You left it on the bedside table,” He says, taking strides to stand behind Stu and slip his arms around his boyfriend's waist, hook his chin on Stu’s shoulder.

Stu never did get rid of the face tattoo, like he swore he would. Phil managed to convince him not to, because he kind of really fucking likes it. Like, a lot.

_ (“It’s evidence of a night that didn’t happen,” Stu had argued. _

_ “Yeah,” Phil admitted, because that was definitely fair. “But the plus side is that you look super hot. Between this and the missing tooth? Ugh, fuck me.” _

_ “I hate you,” Stu claimed. He kept the tattoo anyway.) _

Stu gracelessly ducks out of Phil’s grip.

“Sorry,” He says, beelining towards their shared bedroom. “I haven’t seen my parents in a really long time, okay? They don’t know about the face tattoo, or anything. Much less --” He gestures towards Phil gauchely, limbs moving in rigid and uncomfortable ways.

“I get it,” Phil promises, raising his hands in a faux surrender. He watches Stu down the Xanax desperately, leaning with one arm on the table next to the bed. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Stu glances up, a desolate glint in his eye. “It is?”

Phil takes prolonged strides towards the opposite side of the bed, staying calm, cool, collected.

“Of course it is,” He says, voice steady. “You’re gonna be okay.”

His hands rest on Stu’s waist, and they’re nose to nose at this point. Stu’s eyes dart across his face, searching for any sign that Phil could be lying to him, but he comes up short.

“I should have gotten the tattoo removed,” He says. Relief swells in his shoulders, and it lets Phil relax a little bit more.

Phil rolls his eyes and kisses Stu’s forehead. “Like I said. It makes you look hot.” He laughs. “Here, take that tooth out and  _ wow _ me.”

_ “No,”  _ Stu insists. “The tooth stays in. I won’t budge on that.”

Phil, instead of retaliating, decides to protest this by kissing Stu, a hand quickly rising to tangle itself in his hair.

Stu stops kissing back after a beat, his lips just resting against Phil’s.

“Are you trying to pull out my fake tooth with your tongue?” He asks.

“Fuck you,” Phil spits at him, rotating on a heel away from Stu so that his boyfriend can’t see the smile pulling on his lips.

“You wish,” Stu retorts, smart-assery dripping from his tongue as he watches Phil turn. “You  _ so _ wish.”

 

Stu thinks that Phil should wear a tie to dinner with his parents. Phil doesn’t  _ hate _ ties, exactly, he just doesn’t want to wear one unless it’s really necessary. He doesn’t feel like this applies.

“I already know your parents,” Phil reminds him. “We’ve been friends since we were kids, they know who I am.”

“Just--” Stu huffs, signalling for Phil to face him. “Just wear a tie, for me, alright? And do it  _ right.” _ His hands dart up, and Phil finds himself letting Stu tie his tie for him. He frowns.

“I’m sorry,” Phil caves. “I just don’t get why you’re so nervous. It’s just your parents.”

Stu lets out a laugh, and it shakes his frame. “Just my parents?” He asks. “Oh, yeah. Right. It’s just my parents. It’s not like their opinion of me is super important or anything.”

Guilt immediately washes over Phil’s whole body. He places his hands on Stu’s shoulders lightly. “It’s gonna be  _ fine, _ Stu. I’m a charmer. You know that.”

Stu sighs softly. He tilts his head up, the inch between him and his boyfriend shifting so that their lips can meet.

“I know you are,” He says, against Phil’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

It’s in this mundane moment that Phil thinks --  _ knows _ \-- that this is the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

 

Stu’s parents love Phil just about as much as they always have, so, not very much at all. And although Phil can sense that Stu’s dad is harboring a new type of resentment -- not quite the disappointment he's always felt towards Phil for simply being a burnout in high school who was friends with his son, something stronger -- whatever it is, he doesn't voice it. Phil is forever grateful for that, because the last thing he wants is for Stu to freak out, ever.

“See?” Phil says when the front door shuts behind them. He slips his hand into Stu’s back pocket. “That went  _ perfectly.” _

The tension leaves Stu’s shoulders, and Phil can feel it.

“I don't think my dad likes you very much anymore,” Stu admits.

Phil shrugs. “I don't think he ever really has.”

A laugh escapes Stu’s lips -- almost a giggle -- and he smiles.

“They wish I had married Lauren. They liked Lauren because she was pretty and smart,” He says. “But, for the record, I think you’re way prettier and smarter than her.”

“Now, now,” Phil says, snickering quietly. “I don’t think Lauren would be very pleased to hear that. You owe her a lot. She didn’t put up a fight when you called off the wedding because you realized that I’m what you’ve been looking for all these years.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Stu slugs him in the shoulder lightly. “That’s  _ so _ not how it happened and you know it.”

“I distinctly remember you saying that you’ve been in love with me since high school,” Phil prods.

“Bullshit,” Stu claims. “I never  _ said _ that.”

Phil stands up a little straighter at that, eyes lighting up as an, “a-ha!” slips out of his mouth. “So it’s true. You didn’t say it wasn’t true, you just said that you never said it.”

“Shut up,” Stu bites at him. “With all your… technicalities.” His cheeks are growing red.

Phil spins him to plant a kiss on his forehead. “Never.”

 

Doug tells Phil that he’s head over heels. Doug thinks that he has some sort of insight -- now that he’s the only married one in their original trio of friends. 

“Need I remind you that I’ve been married before?” Phil reminds him.

Doug rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” He says. “Like that lasted. How’s Stephanie, by the way?”

“She’s fine, I think,” Phil admits, drawing absent patterns on the table with his finger. “I don’t get to see the kids until next month, but, I mean. I’m still getting settled in with Stu. I think I’ll survive.”

“I still can’t believe you two are already living together,” Doug mutters. “I think you’re moving way too fast.”

“Hey,” Phil protests. “What do you know about how our relationship works, huh? You don’t get to weigh in.”

“Except, I do,” Doug claims. “I’ve know you guys forever. I totally get to weigh in. You’re scared that you’re gonna fuck this up, aren’t you?”

“Can’t fuck it up if he can’t back out,” Phil reasons.

Doug looks dumbstruck.

“I’m sorry,” He says, “but what does that mean?”

Phil bites hard on his lip, digging through his pocket.

“Fuck,” He swears. “I left it at home. Nevermind.”

“Phil,” Doug says, voice low and warning. “Are you going to propose?”

“Obviously not.” Phil laughs haltingly, and then stops abruptly. “But, hypothetically, if I were to propose to him, what do you think he would say?”

Doug groans. “I don’t know, Phil, I just think you’re moving too fast.”

“Fuck it,” Phil says, obviously not taking Doug’s input into account in the slightest. “Fuck it, fuck you. I’m gonna do it.”

Doug raises an eyebrow, but by the time he opens his mouth to say something, Phil is already out the door.

 

Stu is at work when Phil gets home -- Phil should have known he would be, honestly, and doesn’t know why he expected anything different. So, he gets to work. Mostly out of love for Stu, obviously, but if he’s being one-hundred-percent honest with himself, there’s a small part of him doing it just to spite Doug.

He sets up their dining room table with roses he picked up on the way home and candles he dug out of the closet, on a tablecloth he stole from his parents house. Stu doesn’t get home to a romantic dinner set out, though. Instead, he gets home to Phil running his hand under cold water because he burnt himself making pasta.

“Phil?” Stu’s voice rings out. He pokes his head into the kitchen, where he obviously heard the water running. “Honey? Are you okay?”

Phil grimaces. “Fuck. Yeah. I’m fine. Can you just -- can you wait in the living room a sec?”

A look of perturb immediately washes over Stu’s face. “Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”

“Stu, it’s just a little burn, okay? I’m fine.” Phil winces. He shuts the water off. “Go sit on the couch or something. Just for a second. Okay?”

“Okay, okay!” Stu giggles despite himself. “What’s up with you today?”

“It’s just a really important day,” Phil explains from the kitchen room, quickly spooning spaghetti onto their plates. He really thought he had more time.

“Is it our anniversary, or something? Have we been together for a year?” Panic seeps into Stu’s voice. “Did I just forget? Am I an asshole? Phil!”

Phil sighs hard, rushing to put the plates down on the dining room table. “No, Stu, don’t worry. You didn’t forget anything important.”

He sighs and wipes beads of sweat off his forehead as he walks over to meet Stu.

“Okay,” Stu says, unsure. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine,” Phil promises him. He gestures for Stu to follow them into the dining room -- which, not to toot his own horn or anything, looks pretty fucking romantic.

“I can’t promise dinner will be spectacular,” He goes on to explain. “I’ve never been much of a cook.”

“It looks great,” Stu says. He grins.

Phil rolls his eyes. “Stu, take out the dumb tooth. It can’t be comfortable.”

Stu frowns a little as he sits down in the chair Phil pulled out for him. “It’s fine, I can eat with a fake tooth in. Why are you so concerned about it?”

Phil waves him off, taking a seat across from Stu.

 

Stu doesn’t say anything through dinner, very obviously running equations through his head as he tries to figure out what exactly is so special about the night.

Phil doesn’t eat anything. He’s suddenly lost his appetite, and only nerves course through his veins. Maybe Doug was right. Maybe this  _ was _ a bad idea.

Phil Wenneck is  _ not _ a quitter. He frowns and digs through his pocket for the ring, and says, “Hey, Stu?”

Stu blinks back to reality. “Hm? Yeah?”

“I love you, you know,” He says.

“I -- I love you too.” Stu suddenly looks worried. “You’re not breaking up with me, right? Because I don’t think I could take that. I’ve been in love with you since high school, I can’t--” He cuts himself off. “If you’re not happy…”

“What?” Phil frowns, guilt wrapping him up like a blanket. “No, I’m not breaking up with you. Do you think I’m not happy? I’m  _ so _ happy.” He places the box down on the table without a second thought, grabbing Stu’s hands in his own around the vase in the center. 

Stu eyeballs the box. “Phil…” 

Phil slaps a hand over the box. “Right.” He opens it up, sliding the opening -- the  _ ring _ \-- into Stu’s line of vision.

“I’d say this was too fast,” He admits, thinking back to what Doug told him. “But we’ve been friends since we were kids. I’ve never been this sure about anything, ever. Marry me?”

Stu… immediately starts to cry. Phil doesn’t know how to gauge the reaction in the slightest.

“Yes,” He finally says, and it sounds choked out. He stands up to fast that his chair topples to the ground, and Phil is standing too, and their lips crash together in something desperate.

It’s the happiest moment of Phil’s life this far. He’s never beamed this much before.

“I love you,” He mumbles against Stu’s lips. Their foreheads rest together.

Stu says, “I love you too.”

It’s all Phil could ever ask for.

 

They tell Doug at brunch with him and Tracy. They hold hands under the table, and when Stu reaches for a menu, Tracy’s eyes catch the engagement ring. The light from the window they’re seated by bounces off of it and into Doug’s eyes.

“What the fuck?” He says. Stu glances at Doug with a reserved smile.

“Oh, my God,” Tracey says. She slaps a hand over her mouth. “You two are engaged?”

“Holy shit.” Doug runs his hands down his face. “Morons. You two are morons. Phil, when did you propose to him?”

“Right after you told me not to,” Phil admits.

Tracy elbows Doug hard in his ribs. “You told him not to?”

“I thought Stu would say no!” Doug protests. “They haven’t been together for very long, I was looking out for Phil’s feelings.”

“Fuck you,” Phil tells Doug.

“Fuck you,” Stu echoes.

Tracy says, “Congrats,” with a grin, and Phil feels warm. He’s getting married again, except this time, he knows it’s exactly what he wants.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, i am very very late to the party when it comes to the hangover in general, but i have like a million ideas for fics about these two so fuck it, i can stand being late.


End file.
